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I put on dresses and didn’t braid my whole head up, so people could see more of the “real” me, even though at that point I’m sure I was more confused then ever of what the real me was.

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I remember feeling like my friends would make fun of me or look at me as if I was different from them and so… I could tell the difference, I could feel the animal instinct in them and it scared me. I had the baggy/braided/tough NY tomboy thing mastered, that was who I was (or who I chose to be) and I felt good there.

I didn’t want to be talked to in that way, looked at in that way, whistled after, followed. I chose the baggy jeans and timbs, I chose the ponytail and hat, I chose no makeup, no bright color lipstick or pretty dresses. Then, because of the way I spoke or carried myself, people started calling me gay and hard and I wasn’t gay, but I was hard and although I felt comfortable there, it made me uncomfortable that people were judging me and so slowly I hid that side of myself.

They say all is fair and love and war, and producer Swizz Beatz‘s soon-to-be ex-wife Mashonda is taking that saying literally.

The singer took a very public jab at her ex’s new lady, Alicia Keys, in an open letter penned to the piano-clad singer.

Not to mention that I’ve reached out to her many times in the beginning of this whole thing, as any wife would do.

Unfortunately, I never succeeded in getting a response.” The Harlem native goes on to describe her first encounter with Keys by way of an introduction from Swizz himself.Mashonda also made it clear that despite their pending divorce she still calls Swizz her “husband” until the split is legally finalized.“I made it very clear that on the contrary of what she might be hearing, I am still married to my husband, living with him and just had a child.You know that I asked you to step back and let me handle my family issues. “I just ask you to try and be a bit more realistic and delicate to the situation, at least until my divorce is final,” Mashonda wrote.“If [it is] so, that you and my husband are meant to be together, then God bless you both and I hope you never have to deal with what I did. If you two being together forever is the case, [it’s] more of a reason for us to get along, because I’m not going anywhere. ” –After having a great evening with my son and enjoying some fun twit chat, I decided to sign off and get some work done.[There’s] a child to be raised.” Concluding with an olive branch, Mashonda answered Alicia Keys’ initial “smart versus sparks” twitter post. However, a few hours later I was advised that I should check @aliciakeys twit page. I feel our issues are a lot more serious than a website conversation.

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