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If you’re holding off on dating until you’ve lost the weight, bought better clothes, or are awaiting the arrival of a brilliant future version of yourself, you’ve set the worst goal ever. You may think you’ll be shinier, cooler, or more desirable in the future, but really what you’re saying is that you don’t think anyone could like you now. She was admittedly on the heavy side, but had never kept it a secret or masked it in her online profile.

You’re not an Apple product set to launch sometime next year. A woman named Jen wrote to ask me if she should stop dating until she achieved her goal weight.

She didn’t mince words, and neither did some of her respondents. She was ready to quit until she could wear a size 6.

In the immortal words of Sweet Brown, ain’t nobody got time for that.

Til you’ve achieved an unassailable state of self love?

At most, it is a reliable source of advice for women who want to improve their chances with the opposite sex.

When it comes to attracting men, your physical fitness matters - a lot.

You're eating this up." "I just love how nervous this makes you.

Why are you afraid to talk about the fact that you look at girls sexually? and told me we had to stop because she had a boyfriend." "Oh, my poor Jake." "It wasn't that horrible." "What did you say? She told me how wonderful I am, kissed my cheek repeatedly, said she wished things could be different... I reminded her that there is no set height and weight requirement here. Then, when the Future Perfect You—ideal weight, great haircut, designer jeans—steps out for the first time, and gets rejected (which happens to EVERYONE, by the way) what then?It’ll hurt even more because you’ll think, “If no one wants me now, after all this, how could anyone ever?And so I decided that the very best thing I could do was to give it a shot and see what happened--in part because I also felt fairly confident, upon reflection, that my friendship with Jake was strong enough to survive just about anything. " And indeed, it was not.)Still, the break-up--understandable and inevitable though it was--hurt. After all, if I couldn't make it work with this person I cared so deeply about, and got along so well with, how in the hell was I ever going to make It took a few months before Jake and I began to hang out again.

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